09
Apr
10

all is silent

So many things go through my mind today… decisions (resolutions?).

Trust i want to hear the words, spelled out, because i love words, i sometime need them, maybe some day i’ll learn to read minds, and i will be able to do without them.

Hands speak too…

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23
Mar
10

dreams…

i define myself as a realist, even my dreams seemed realistic to me.
Then something happens,and i realize how wrong i am… mind as well i’d be dreaming of being Disney’s Cinderella or another far fetch character like that.
The life of a realist is much easier, fewer disappointments.
Pessimistic? i don’t think so, but maybe.
In the past few weeks i found hope hurts.
So maybe is time to let go of dream and plant my feet firmly in reality.

.
i’m a foolish, foolish woman.

listening to…  **click**

22
Mar
10

it all started with…

talk of:

praying mantis

Magnolia

loss of control…

21
Mar
10

smoke and mirrors

i was talking to a friend about how people seems so much more real on networking sites that are not specific to dating. i had hoped that being in a relationship would be the end of spending so much time on line, and especially being on dating sites.
Of course the premises of my relationship kind of precluded part of it. Something i forgot at the time.
i realize that i was there to find someone, but many people are just networking or living a porn fantasy.
It’s addictive,
In everyday life, how many women have men constantly tell em how wonderful, smart beautiful etc. they are?
How many men  have all those women flirting and be slutty with them, and make them feel like they are gods?
You’d think the fact that we are all adult, sitting home instead of having sex and something meaningful with another, would be a clue.
i think the internet is so popular because we all need attention. Even people that have marriages relationship, seek it from someone else instead of taking it as a symptom that something need fixing.
Nobody like to be taken for granted, nobody sit around forever waiting for something that isn’t forthcoming.
The internet seems a nice solution, except that is not. Smoke and mirrors.
Glossy pictures, glossy words… i look at people talking to me, and wonder who the hell they see. And i keep forgetting that people see and read what they want to see and read.
i’m not different, and i found that the real person is often not what we had imagined.
Perception.
i found also that i rather have real than those imaginary beings.But i admit is hard to let go of it, if real isn’t happening.

i chatted with with few friends, that found me on a networking site. People from my past, do  i miss what our life use to be?

15
Mar
10

something wise…

i read this in another blog…

“Never make someone a priority in your life, while you remain only an option in theirs”

.

.

.

.

.

.i put it here so i won’t forget.


14
Mar
10

tired…

that’s it

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.

.

.

.

.

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that’s all

my priority is changing my priorities.

10
Mar
10

happiness?

It happens to so many… but why?
i wonder what are we looking for?
What is needed to be truly contented?
Is there no panacea, or is it in front of us but we are too blind to see it?
i’m thinking that we fill our lives so we don’t have time to think,paradoxically, that time goes by,or about things that under our delirium we avoid to create or bring forward.
Justifying doesn’t solve the problem,it makes it bigger.So we seek and seek and again seek… maybe what we are doing is hiding… for fear,of failure, of suffering of… in the end we ourselves are at the same time our best friends and worse enemy, we love/hate ourselves and in this struggle life pass us by, hidden behind the mad search for what maybe is right in front of us and we don’t want or we can’t see.
Maybe we complicate our life seeking simplicity.